Despres Graphiques

I have mentioned several times how wonderfully talented my beloved partner and fiancee Kacy is at graphic design, indeed at anything to do with colour and image manipulation. Now anyone can benefit from her expertise in this field, for a fee, as she has started up a graphic design agency.

Despres Graphiques will create your custom sign or logo, for a very reasonable fee. Just IM Kacy in-world to arrange an initial consultation.

My love took her first commission the other day, for Miss Talwyn Mills, owner of a very good weapons supplies establishment. We were visiting TalTECH to equip Captain Despres with a sword as part of her Light Horse uniform - we chose the Imperial Sabre, by Mekan, the blade of choice for the CLH! - when Miss Mills approached Kacy with a view to engaging her services.

Yesterday the commission was completed, and we went to view the signs in place. I think you will agree they look absolutely amazing. Clean, futuristic, eye catching, memorable. Just what Miss Mills wanted!

If your business, property or event needs a sign or logo, your first stop has to be Despres Graphiques, where will you receive the best in personally tailored service at a price both reasonable and appropriate for the exceptional quality of the work you will get.

*Kacy here, I hope you enjoyed my beloved's shameless plug. I am ecstatic to be in business and am always looking for my next project!*

Inaugural Caledon Pet Show

The SLRFL Summer Fete started on Saturday, and runs until the weekend. There are many wonderful stalls to see, specially created items to buy from the fund raising vendors, and a host of special events taking place. For more information, please go to Miss Lapin Paris's blog, here.

One of the special events was the inaugural Caledon Pet Show, brainchild of Mr Podruly Peccable. My beloved partner Kacy did a lot of the work on the infrastructure for this, creating the grandstand and arena, the obstacles for the show jumping contest (more properly a steeplechase), and creating the rosettes awarded. I made the cups you see here, and Kacy used her skill with PhotoShop to make the name plates on them. I would have done more, but lost my connection over the vital 28 hours of Friday and Saturday, due to the flooding currently affecting Gloucester, so my love stepped in, and made sure Podruly's idea became a reality. Truly she is a marvel.

As Kacy's kitty, I qualify as a pet, so we decided to enter me into 3 of the classes. I was put forward in the Best Dressed, Obedience and Show-Jumping Classes. My love chose an outfit for me, coached me on how to be obedient (?!), and we stepped into the ring.

I paraded and twirled before the judges, proud to be Kacy's Kitty, and then my beloved put me through my paces, getting me to sit, dance, salute and Hoo! We were up against some very stiff competition, including our friend Gloriana Maertens and her wonderful Labrador Chloe. All the competitors and their pets did very well, and the winners of the classes were deserving indeed of their trophies.

Then we moved on to the Show-Jumping contest, a race over a series of obstacles round a course that took one past Carntaigh Court. I lined up with three other competitors, but due to lag didn't hear the GO! until the others had all left me standing in a cloud of dust! I didn't really have much of a chance against two foxes and a rabbit that turned into a crow half way through the course, but it was a great deal of fun.

The final results of the three classes were as follows, decided by the judges, Mr Podruly Peccable (Chief Steward), Miss Lapin Paris and Mr Denver Hax;

Best Dressed Pet;
1st Place - Miss Soleil Snook
2nd Place - Miss Margaret Meng and her Kitten 3rd Place - Miss Kacy Despres and her Kitty (me!)

Obedience;
1st Place - Miss Gloriana Maertens and Chloe 2nd Place - my memory fails me! so sorry!
3rd Place - Miss Kacy Despres and her Kitty (me!)

Show-Jumping; 1st Place - Mr Fenn Reoca
2nd Place - Mr Straitfox Ihnen
3rd Place - Mr Ellis Dee Welinder

So, placed twice! This was such a fun event, I do hope it runs next year - who knows, maybe I will have been tamed enough to get a Second Place?

New Sim, New Gallery

I received an IM from my sister AuroraSkye Ashton the other day, inviting me to see her new gallery. I accepted of course, not having seen my middle sister for a few weeks, and always keen to view her work.

Her new gallery is on the marina of Sydney Docks, a brand new sim. Called the Sydney Art gallery, it can be reached via this SLurl.

Aurora is pictured in front of some of her new work, her "Ladies", wonderfully delicate line drawings. She herself was sporting a new hairdo, one she had made herself, along with a very smart, sophiscated outfit to match.

She is also producing her fractals in a new style, the frames themselves being part of the work, if they can be called frames, moving in and out of the pictures they surround.





Aurora's work is always eye catching, beautiful and incredibly well executed. If you are looking for an artwork to grace your home, the first place you should visit is the Sydney Art Gallery.

A Time For Burning

The Great Divide is not a place, yet it exists as the route between worlds, between the human lands and the lands of the Djinn, amongst many many others. It is a cold place, as cold as the gulf between the stars, and it has its own lifeforms, beings that sparkle with all the colours of the rainbow, some as big as planets yet able to hide in a dust mote, and which feed on emotions. The Divide itself is alive, it knows if you are in it, and it is a terrible sentience to be touched by. Thus the Great Divide is not crossed easily, nor by the unwary.

I could feel its call, as my energies ebbed, flowing from me. We must all return there in the end, whether you call it Heaven or Hell, Elysium or Tarterus, and perhaps I was long overdue to make such a journey. The gods of my tribe alone know how many times I have crossed it in my long lifetime, how many times I have cheated its embrace as I use my abilities to save some other poor soul from its clutches, both human and Djinn. I felt its hunger, and knew that I could not cross back to the lands of my birth, the plains of fire and brimstone that boil under the sulphur sky. This time I would have to heal here, amongst manflesh, or die the lasting death that none return from.

Weakened by the battle, the hunt for the Were, and having used more of myself than I should perhaps have done in order to free my sister Djinn Eugenia from her curse, I also knew I could not heal alone. The gods were smiling the day I lifted the Comte Despres from the arms of Madame Guillotine, his family have been mine to ward thereafter, and they have not been backward in repaying the honour. They have sheltered me, taught me more about the human condition than any before them, and in their turn have learned from me.

Along with many of my kind, I hold to the worship of an ancient diety, popular too amongst mankind for awhile, back in the day when travel between our lands was both more common and more accepted than it is now. My tribe knelt at the feet of Bast, fierce huntress of the desert, Goddess of the Sunrise, one of Ra's blazing eyes. Kind Mother also, she nurtures her brood as she protects them, giving them all they need to live in the hot dry lands. The perfect diety for a nomadic tribe of Djinn!


So it is that many of the women of the Despres line have entered her worship also, coming to her through coming to know me. My beloved Kacy, my partner, my lover, my best friend, my delight, is like her mother before her, and her mother too, and hers also, a High Priestess in the cult of Bast. Her love and her knowledge, the powers she can draw down on occasion would all be needed to keep me on the mortal plane.

Blessed by a sister who is a High Priestess of Pele, and who maintains a temple to this other vengeful Mother Goddess above her volcano, Cheyenne was only to happy to allow our use of this sacred space. So once we had paid our respects to Leon, and with my form fading fast, Kacy took me to Pele, and laid me tenderly upon the altar. No greater love hath anyone than she, as she knew the risks to me of this ritual, and to herself, yet she gladly prepared the space around us, dedicating this fiery domain to my tribal numen, knowing it was the only way we could remain together in this life.

Taking her staff in her hand, she uttered words of power so bright they would burn the page they were written on. Drawing strength from the heat of creation boiling below the altar, she wove the energies that were needed into one coruscating ball, that shimmered in the air for the briefest of seconds, before she sent it into me - or me into it, the details become hazy at this point in the transformation.

We Djinn call this ritual the Great Refining, where the fire from which we were made takes our form and makes us anew, burning away all that is ill, dead or just plain no longer needed, leaving the pure essence of our being clean, refreshed, invigorated. We generally need to take a new physical form at this point too, the old and worn out one being consumed along with the other dross that is burnt away. As this was being carried out away from my tribal lands, and in a borrowed temple, I did not have access to the usual substances from which to carve a new shell, but as I hung there between the worlds, shielded from the depredations of the Divide and its denizens by the energies of the ritual, my beloved appealed to Bast, asking our Goddess to give me form that I might walk pon the Grid beside for a while yet, and the Mother smiled upon her. The power of Bast flowed through Kacy as her High Priestess, her form changing to that of the Goddess herself, cat-headed woman. She called my totem to me, that animal spirit guide that all Djinni children are given at birth, often a tribal totem as well, and in my case it is the Cat. As the fires of the ritual seethed around me, my form took shape, till at last I was complete, and sat up to accept the libation of blood and honey that my Priestess lover handed me, this first drink sealing my corporeal appearance for good.

Gingerly I rose from the smoking granite of the altar, and took my first steps in my new body. Straight into the arms of my beloved, my Kacy, whom I now owe my life to many times over. She gave me life by loving me, now she has given me new life in this new form. We returned to our home over Kittiwickshire, happy to be with each other however we may appear. Caledon remains our home at present, and there is much to be done to our lands there. Where the future may take us who can know, but wherever we are, as long as I am by her side, I will be where I want to be.

Leon's Rez Day, And A Last Dance

After the solemnity of the presentation ceremony, my love and I had one last engagement to attend.
A much happier occasion, we joined our friends and fellow officers Leon Susenko and Gloriana Maertens in celebrating Leon's Rez Day.

Also present when we were arrived were fellow Salon members Professor Nareth Nishi and Miss Artemesia Paine, happily returned from the dead, and not long after Miss Abigail Raymaker also joined the merry throng.

I took great advantage of the desserts on offer, the Sundaes as ever excellent, and the Rez Day Cake delicious, as well as being of the best kind, never ending! Amazing as they were, the sugars gave me little sustenance, the emptiness inside yawning wide.

More pleasure was had from Leon's Rez Day present, gifted him by his adoring fiancee Glori. A set of the most amazing firework pots ever! The variety and consistency of the colours, the sound effects, was astounding, the quantity seemingly inexhaustible. We all watched in awe as the sky was filled with sound and light to gladden any heart. Leon is a very lucky Rez Day boy indeed, and I suspect the skies over New Babbage will be a-glowing nightly from now on!

We turned then to dancing and conversation, Leon regaling us with accounts of his scrapes and japes throughout his first year. Many tales still to tell!



I held my darling Kacy close as we waltzed and the day flowed around us. More than my partner, my lover, my closest friend, this amazing woman completes me. She understands me like no one else, knows me better than I know myself. All my life I have searched for that which was missing, and in her I have found it. My still calm centre in the midst of life's storms, she sensed my time was close. She knew what needed to be done, and stood ready to help me pass the approaching threshold.

This dance was therefore all the more poignant. I don't think any of the assembled revellers knew that they would not see me, at least as they know me, again, but it was Leon's day, and not one for fond farewells. My love and I held each other tight, lost in the feel of the other. We know not what lies ahead, but we do know that whatever comes to pass we will be together. That will never change.

Final Words And The Cast Go Home

It was a weary Colonel who dragged on his gardening clothes Sunday morning, intent on losing himself in the redevelopment of his Tanglewood plots, sending his begrimed uniforms to the regimental laundry, and spending time with his partner. Kacy and I have both worked hard this week, with little thanks and less reward, though neither were looked for nor expected.

It was thus with a heavy heart that I was summoned to join my Dragoons at a presentation of some sort. I could not let my troops down, so pulled on my happy(ish) face and sent word to Major Vollmar for a TP.

When I arrived, a small group of militia awaited me, mainly members of the Light Horse but Captains Pak and Paravane from the Red Team were there too. Miss Lapin Paris presided.
I was called to the stage, not sure what to expect, but another dressing down was close to the top of the list. Imagine my surprise, then, my total shock at the following words from Miss Paris;

"Mordecai, it is with great joy that I have come to know you and your big heart. You have been a staunch supporter of the SLRFL and any endeavor we throw at you. You accepted the role of Colonel in the RP without reservation and created a fun Camp Cuddles, which was just the right tone. From the very beginning of the SLRFL you have offered your time, your land and anything I have asked of you. It has been an honour talking to you and getting to know you. You are one of the reasons I have enjoyed SL so much. I look forward to seeing what you have up your sleeve in the future! Lapin Paris gave you Citation for the RFL Militia. Lapin Paris gave you Medal Left Pec Large. Please wear this medal proudly Mordecai, you have earned it."

To say I was taken aback is understating things to an extreme degree. There have been many many words spoken about me and to me over the last few days, the vast majority of them so far removed from the above, yet none of them matter now. Short of my beloved Kacy accepting my proposal of marriage, and her asking me to be her partner, no other words will mean as much to me now. Recovering from my shock, I turned to the cheering squad of Dragoons, and addressed them thusly;

"Well, first let me thank you all, and you in particular Lapin for asking me to participate in this RP. I would never have placed myself as Colonel, and it has been a testament to your great patience and courage that you saw fit to place me in that role. Your work for SLRFL has truly been legendary, Lapin, and it has been the highest of honours to work both for you, and alongside you. To the Blue Team, I say the warmest of thank you's for letting me play your Colonel, and if we have taken anything from this week I hope it is a lot of fun and new bonds of friendship. I have been proud to serve alongside you, no Colonel could want for a finer bunch of reprobates under his command :) To those members of the Red team here present, I say a great thank you for all your efforts this week, together we have all made it something that will be writ large in the annals of Caledon. I would ask you to please pass on my good wishes and heartfelt thanks for a week well run to your team mates who are absent through timezone clashes. As far as the future activities of the Caledon Light Horse go, myself and your two Majors will be sitting down this week to draw up a formal outline of what we are about, and a timetable of coming events. I have a great debt of honour to repay to you both Vid and Ras, a Colonel relies on his senior subordinates, and I have leaned heavily on you both. Thank you for all that you have done, in terms of training the troops and rasing morale in those low times, of which there were thankfully few. A final word to you all......Hoooo!"

I stepped down from the stage and shook hands, clapped shoulders with my troopers, all of them heroes in my eyes. Everyone in the now disbanded RFL Militia has been awarded the Order Of The Wounded Rabbit, by His Eminence The Guvnah himself, whom his Dragoons serve unto death, and amongst all the talk of titles and honours bestowed in Caledon, none carries such weight with me as this, save that of Viceriene, may She reign forever in Peace and Glory.


It was a double joy that day, as my beloved Kacy was also accepted into the rolls of this award, for all the hard work she has put in to the RFL Militia in the few weeks she has been a member, the vast part of it unseen and unsung.

So we moved on to new days, new challenges, glad to have helped in some small part in raising an astounding amount for SLRFL Team Caledon, the total now well over one million Lindens, and over one hundred thousand from the last week alone. That is what this whole episode has been about, and despite all the brick bats and mudslinging, I will allow myself a small measure of pride to have been involved.

Weary and not a little disheartened, despite this final act, this Djinn for one is glad it is over. Heavy of heart, I sense my powers on the wane, the tides of the universe pushing me closer to the Great Divide. It will not be much longer that Caledon sees my red skin moving amongst its streets and forests.

A Rousing Finale

*I would like to apologize for my words at the Anvil. They were unnecessary and caused an undue amount of stress and drama, and for that I am sincerely sorry.*

Saturday came, and with it the promise of the battle. To be staged on Primverness, the exercise was to take the form of a "Capture The Flag" game, whereby each team has a flag in their camp, that the other must capture and take back to theirs, in order to score a point. The team that does successfully the most number of times in the allotted hour, wins. Nice and easy, eh?

I arrived on the battlefield very early in the day, and here you see me accompanied by Captain Susenko, surveying the various routes by which we might attempt to take the Red Flag. The terrain favoured infantry tactics, which suited us perfectly, for being Light Dragoons we are well used to the skirmish line, the hit and run attack.

The chosen medium for the battle was the avTCS HUD, a derivative of the Terra Combat System, which allowed the use of any projectile firing weapon. The HUDs gave the wearer 3 Hit Points, and much like the FWC system, when these are exhausted one is pinned to the ground. With avTCS however there is no revive button, you are down for 30 seconds and that's that!

At one point great consternation was caused by the enabling of Damage on the sim, which the Blue Team felt to be a step too far, and one that took the fun away from the exercise. Luckily the referees - Professor Alphonse Avalanche and Miss Lapin Paris - were able to rescind this decision, and we were left to adjust to a field that allowed Push. We resolved to make do, relying instead on our marksmanship as we had only very weak Push weapons, if we had any at all.

We assembled before the battle, and Fire Teams were created, plans finalised, and speechs given. Major Vollmar, our most experienced war horse - literally - gave a rousing oration, reminding us of many tactical tips, and commending the team spirit we had developed over the week.

The sections deployed were;
V-team, being Major Vollmar, Captain Maertens, Leftenants Peccable and Decosta, H.

R-team, being Major "Ras" Margolis, Captain Schnabel, Leftenants Palowkaski and Book.

Bossman, being myself, Captain Sin and Leftenant Decosta, C.

Captain Susenko formed a flying reserve, being encased as he was in a Maklin Fighting Suit, which sports TWO electric gatling rifles. The two "away" teams of the Majors were to take the fight to the opponent, and attempt to take his flag. My team, along with Captain Susenko, were to defend our base.

Despite a few false starts by BOTH sides, the battle got underway at 10.10pm SLT. There was no Flying allowed (although I did see Colonel O'Toole arrive at our base in such a fashion) nor use of TPs. The Red Team started an immediate assault, which they kept up relentlessly for the time they were on the field. I must offer my personal admiration to Captains Jaksoi Pak and Newbe Writer, both of whom managed to kill me four times a piece. We battled hard, and for over 30 minutes there was hardly a moment when there was not a member of the Red Team somewhere with metres of our camp. I was called upon to use my Djinn powers and fireball a few of them, but such things were nothing more than a pyrotechnic distraction to them. Somehow, we managed to score two captures , and thus 2 points. I did not see this momentous occurrences as a lot of my time was spent kissing the blessed turf.

Suddely the field went quiet, and reports came back from our away teams that the reds had gone and taken their flag with them! In a state of some confusion and consternation we regrouped, for there were still a good 25 minutes left on the clock. Then I was summoned to the Red Team, where I personally, and the Blue Team collectively were accused of all manner of subterfuges and deceits. The discussion became heated, and might have turned ugly had the referees not been there. It was in the end decided to declare it a draw.

Such bitterness and recrimination aside, we agreed to meet at the Falling Anvil once more to finish the matter, it having come full circle, and I thank her Grace Lady Christine Pearce, Countess of Primbroke for such a level-headed and amicable solution. The two sides duly met, with Red Team strangely subdued and displaying none of their cocksure attitude from the Monday. I toasted the health of my opposite number, Colonel Sir Edward Pearse the Earl of Primbroke, the health of Red Team as a group, and that of Caledon as a whole. Blue Team stood and gave them a chorus of salutary Hoooos! They responded with a very gracious three cheers, and then both parties cheered the referees for their hard work in organising and overseeing the whole weeks merriment.

We agreed that it matters not which end of a coddler you begin from, nor whether your name is preceded by a bucketful of syllables, that determines the quality of a Caledonian, but one's willingness to take part in events such as this to raise money for those less fortunate in body than ourselves, and that the fighting spirit displayed on both sides was second to none. It was also agreed that it was better to level arms together at such threats to Caledon as the Alien Menace than it was to raise them against each other, even in fun.

The wager was forgotten, and instead all parties resolved to make donations to the SLRFL Team Caledon pot, a process I was honoured to begin in tandem with Sir Edward, the both of us making donations of 10,000 Lindens to get the ball rolling. I daresay, indeed I hope that there will be other such military exercises held in the future, we on Blue Team at least thoroughly enjoyed the chance to put our training into practice, but it has been agreed that in future no such elements such as Push will be allowed.

For more reportage and opinion on the days events, I direct you firstly to the journal of Colonel Hotspur O'Toole, who's behaviour throughout the week has been both exemplary, and an exception to the Red Team's norm. I have enjoyed having his company in camp of an evening, and hold the fervent hope that maybe we have seen the beginnings of something of friendship.

And as a final note to the accusations of extreme Push and Orbits, it was discovered by the good Dr Mitsu Figaro that there were 3 griefers on the field that day. She has their names, and will pass them on to the relevant authorities. Blue Team stand acquitted, and Caledon stand united once more! VIVAT CALEDON!! SHANG!!!

All Caledonians Together

Our joy at prevailing over the alien menace was rudely cut short by news of a second landing, this time at Loch Avie, their craft again smashing into the centre of the camp. How long had these creatures been observing us? They certainly displayed a terrifying cunning and grasp of strategy, striking as they did when the forces of Caledon's Militia were spread thin.

The members of Red Team being absent due to duties elsewhere - all save the plucky Miss Diamunda Gustafson, Slayer of the Kittiwick Were and Protector of Caledon - a scratch force was hastily TP'd in. Myself, our two Majors, and the fiery Leftenant Podruly Peccable, a young pup of a Dragoon who had proven himself during Operation Who's Here? Pooh's Here! the day before.

When we arrived, the scene was much as before. An alien landing craft, looking for all the world like a huge cannon shell, but one that delivered a very different sort of death. Alien warriors swooping like metallic hawks - okay metallic jellyfish - over the battlefield, uttering their unholy sounds. Flames, and ruin. Miss Gustafson stood defiant, the barrel of her sidearm glowing red hot from use.


However we came armed with the knowledge that these rievers from beyond the sky could be killed, so kill them we did. Side by side, Red and Blue, small enders and LARGE enders, all such petty divisions forgotten, and none but true Caledonians standing together to defend their homeland. Just because they are wrong in their breakfast habits, we will still fight to save them all, or die valiantly and bloodily in the attempt.

Thankfully no such dieing was needed this time, and the only injuries that needed tending by the (thankfully) ever vigilant medical staff were a few scrapes and minor burns sustained by Miss Gustafson as she fought what she must have thought was her last stand. Unfortunately her tent was beyond help, and after exchanging a few words of comfort, we left her to organise the repair of Camp Red. We made our way back to Camp Cuddles II, and a much deserved cup of tea.

I am proud to be a Caledonian, and honoured to fight alongside my fellow citizens of our fair land, whichever end they open. The battle against the alien was far from over, however, and for more tales of how our brave men and women defended our sims, read this excellent account from the Red Team's very own battlefield correspondent, Lt. Col Hotspur O'Toole , and Caledon's answer to Kate Adey, Miss Eladrienne Laval.

The Butchers Bill

Tanglewood defiant, Tanglewood saved, yes,but at what cost? Dawn threw the battlefield into stark clarity. Fires burned, ruins smouldered. A thick pall of smoke hung over the forest.

I walked slowly to the aid station, where Dr Mitsu Figaro, aided by the higly skilled Sister Lavendar Beaumont, worked furiously to attend the casualties. One was our very own Captain Violet Schnabel, though luckily only bruises and a concussion seemed to be her lot.

More worrisome were the injuries done to Lady Amber Palowakski, who had sustained a deep gash to her right thigh. Dr Figaro worked tirelessly, Sister Beaumont at her side, and at last the blood was staunched. Her beau, Mr Americanpsyco Book98, who had been beside her all the time, was at last able to succumb to his own wounds, collapsing in a dead faint, his breeches stained a deep crimson. Another leg wound, another battle for the medical team to fight, and another one they won.

My beloved Captain, my partner in this life, Kacy Despres, was sat under a tree, nursing a twisted ankle. Thank the gods that's all it was, she had caught her foot in one of the multitude of rabbit holes that adorn Tanglewood, the accident possibly saving her life at it threw her out of the invaders sightline. The mountain of spent rounds at her side bore testimony to the fact that though down, my beloved had fought on, and fought well. How lucky am I to be named as hers!

Camp Cuddles was a smoking ruin, the rain that the forest had conjured to save itself coming too late to prevent the destruction of our cosy HQ. However this is Tanglewood, and the Scaggs-Despres estate stood only a short walk away. A call to the ground staff, and the site was cleared of vegetation in record time, though not one of the mighty Caledon oaks that I am proud to say stand on our land was touched. My darling Adjutant shrugged off her injuries, and set about organising the rebuilding of Blue Team's base of operations. Camp Cuddles II soon stood ready to receive its Dragoons, cosier than ever!

Unwelcome Visitors

I was at home, in my office working on the mountain of regimental paperwork that is every commanding officers burden - though very ably assisted by Blue Team's Adjutant, my beloved partner Captain Kacy Despres - enjoying a hot malted milk drink, when suddenly the Blue Team channel lit up like a Christmas tree!

I was stunned to hear cries of "Alarm!" "We are attacked by aliens!" and "Camp Cuddles is ablaze!". Snatching up our rifles, and me still in my very fetching house hat, we TP'd straight to the heart of the battle.

The sight that greeted us was a horrific one, that both chilled the marrow and boiled the blood at the same time. Camp Cuddles was an inferno, the dark mass of an alien craft in its centre. Fires burned everywhere, and terrifying battle cries from throats not of this Earth echoed amongst the proud and ancient Caledon oaks.


"Uuuulllahhhhh!"


The eerie, nightmarish cry came again, and the invaders launched another assault. They were as swift as quicksilver, shaped as a ball, three appendages hanging from it like some octopoid amputee, and made all of some strange metal. Bullets pattered against them like hail on a tin roof, seemingly to no avail. The Fizzworks Rifle is the peak of Caledonian weaponsmithing, surely these creatures could not be proofed against it? Are we to be lost to invaders from another world?


Come the hour, cometh the man - and cometh the pony. In quick succession our two gallant Majors, Margolis and Vollmar, found the aliens Achilles heel. A spot on the underbelly, no bigger than a Caledon shilling, composed of some thin film, perhaps a gill-like mechanism through which the monsters filtered our pure air into whatever miasma sustained them? We know not, such things are the pervue of the men and women of the Royal Society, as soldiers all we needed to know was that it was a weak spot, and through it they could be killed!

As the sun rose, I stood before the smoking ruin of the last of the invaders. I cannot claim the kill as my own, though I did empty several clips into its shell. So did many other brave souls, and at last one bullet struck true, killing the thing stone dead. Blue Team had won through, Tanglewood was saved!

Entertaining Guests

...and they were entertaining indeed!

Having donned Pyjama Order (well some us having done so, CO's perogative and all that) we settled down to look over the day's action. Twas not long before we had our first most honoured guest, Colonel O'Toole, who arrived looking every inch the vaquero astride his new avian mount, Petunia. Gotta love those eyelashes, she is a doll!

Colonel H is every inch the soul of diplomacy and courtesy, so all talk of the exercise was avoided, the conversation turning easily to his new diversion as a Vaudeville performer. More details of his adventure into the limelight can be found here.

The good Colonel will I am sure be a smash at the box office, for he certainly kept us by turns in stitches with his wit and enthralled with his tales of derring-do in far off climes.

All too soon came the time when he had to return to the clutches of the Red Team, so we bade him fond farewell with a rousing rendition of the Hooos! chorus. Don't be a stranger Colonel, there is always a warm welcome and a spot by the fire for you in Camp Cuddles.

Not long after the man hisself had departed, than we received another guest to our humble encampment - Loch Avie it aint! - this time who other but the august personage of our Vicereine herself! Her Majesty Kamillah bade us sit, never being one to stand on ceremony, and then delighted and astounded us with her enviable skills as a jongleuse! There cannot be many humble cavalrymen (and women) who have been so honoured as we were to witness such a thing!

The delights of Camp Cuddles are open to all, so please do drop in, for a cheery chat and a free Pooh. Remembering that all this tomfoolery is in aid of SLRFL and the fight against cancer, please make your generous donations to the purple kiosk on your way in - and out!

Horsemen Riding By

Blue Team is primarily a Dragoon regiment, and whilst the previous exercise had shown their undoubted prowess in the Light Infantry role, I felt that we mustn't neglect our horsemanship either.

The troop was turned out to patrol Tanglewood on horseback, regimental flags flying. A fine site we made as we galloped through the mighty ancient forest, turning the head of many a woodland creature I am sure.

On reaching the ferry, we thought to treat the rest of Caledon to the glorious spectacle of her Dragoons in Parade Order, so once the troop had reassembled in Port Caledon, we mounted up again and set off for Victoria City.

Unfortunately military intelligence had neglected to factor in the fact that yesterday was Update Day, and within the space of two sims the proud force was scattered to the four winds by the lag, many crashing heavily. It is testament to the sound training a Dragoon receives and the hardiness of the stock from which his (or her) mount is chosen that all were able to make it back to camp in the end.

After such an arduous day militia-ing, the order was given to stand down for the night.The brave souls of Blue Team had had their mettle well and truly tested, and had not been found wanting. Why not? Because they eat their coddlers LARGE end first!

A Delivery Of Fun

Yesterday was rostered into the schedule as "Gathering Supplies". The Blue Team had plentiful supplies of everything, particularly nonsense, but we were concerned that Red Team might be lacking in such an essential vittle.

Thus, in a spirit of comradeliness - they are fellow Militiamen and -women after all - we determined to help them out. Concerned that our gesture might be misconstrued as something else, I decided that the delivery be made as quickly and as stealthily as possible, so a crack insertion team was chosen.

Led by the fearless Major Vollmar, the force consisted of the dashing Major Morgolis, the raw but enthusiastic Leftenant Peccable and the spectral Captain Sin. Laden with Poohs and correctly opened eggs, this elite unit was TP'd into Loch Avie under express orders to spread the joy and then request immediate extraction. Should such a call not be received after ten minutes had elapsed, they would be pulled out regardless.

The images shown here demonstrate the success of their mission, although sadly Captain Sin was posted as MIA when he failed to return with the others. Not to worry, he is dead anyway, and sure enough he reappeared back at base a few moments later, proving the adage that you can't keep an old dog (or Were) down, even the ghost of one. The heroic commandos are seen here celebrating by a daguerrotype taken by a follow-up high altitude balloon reconnaissance flight.

Heartened by this initial good fortune, a second insertion was ordered, this time by the whole of Blue Team. A morale boosting shot of our heroes stood eating their breakfast delights LARGE end first was taken, to both celebrate fun well delivered and to let the Red Team know that we CARE about them, and long for that joyous day when they return to their senses and renounce their smallendness.

Three Hooos! were given, and Pooh smiled on the scene, for he saw that it was silly, and rejoiced.

Life In Camp

According the broad outline schedule for the Militia Swan Song RP this week, drawn up by Professor Alphonse Avalanche, who I thank indeed for dreaming up the wonderfully silly premise behind it all, yesterday was the day for setting up camp.

Ever efficient, due to our correct and proper way of opening our coddled eggs from the LARGE end, we were ahead of ourselves, so took the time instead to plan and scheme. This involved sitting around our camp fire in Pyjama Order, naturally. We have enlisted the help of a major celebrity in pursuit of our case, that silliest of bears Winnie The Pooh. To ensure that the event stays good-natured and non-contentious, Pooh accompanies us everywhere, monitoring our activities like a Commissar of Nonsense. We shall be distributing Winnie's freely throughout the week, along with educational material on how to eat a coddled egg the correct way. Which is of course? Well done dear readers, the LARGE end first!

We entertained a number of visitors during our scheming session, amongst them Miss Hailey Hammerer, partner to our beloved (and now thankfully returned) Major Vollmar. Miss Hailey had just purchased an avatar half the size of a Tiny! And boy was it small! As yet this new breed of super-Tiny avatar is without any anims, but hers came with a lightning fast segway, which is reputed to be strong enough to haul a Giant Dragon! Never underestimate the power of a tiny thing!


Also dropping by for a cookie and a cuppa - though he brought his own teapot - was our friend Mr Albrecht Heinrich, resplendent in his own new Tiny av, the Dormouse from Alice's Adventure's In Wonderland. Albrecht has a fine collection of Tiny avs, my favourite being his Samurai Badger, but his new Dormouse is now pretty close to top of the list.

Time passed, schemes were schemed and plots were thickened. As the sun sank and the moon rose in that beautifully synchronised way that they do in SL, the troops started to flag, their silliness muscles have seen some hard use. Luckily our own Major Margolis was on hand,and promptly revived our spirits by getting his pecs out. Just in time too, some of us were about to take this whole thing seriously!

Life in the Blue Team can at times be hard, but luckily we eat our eggs from the LARGE end, so we are able to sustain such a blistering pace for as long as we need - well, till Saturday at any rate! I think we may pay a courtesy call to the Red Team's camp soon, taking Pooh with us of course!

The Large End, Of Course!

And so we come to Monday evening, the night of The Bet, and the start of a week-long cavalcade of fun.

The time, 8.30pm. The place, The Falling Anvil in Caledon Tamrannoch. The occasion, to settle once and for all which end of a coddled egg one should open to eat it.

What?! I hear you cry? Settle once and for all? Is it possible that there is another school of thought on this matter? Sadly dear readers, I must reveal that there are those poor benighted souls
abroad in this world that actually believe that the SMALL end is the way to begin one of nature's greatest delights. The small end, if ever you please! So sure in this belief are they, that they have formed the Red Team to propound it!

Thus the Blue Team set out to persuade them of their error. We arrived at the Anvil, borne on our Carltons, and greeted our opponents in this grand debate with the customary Militia Hoooo! They seemed a little nonplussed at this, but my fellow Colonels O'Toole and Somme did us great honour by riding their own comedic mounts. I was happy to share a toast with my fellow cavalry
officers, drinking to our respective nascent regiments, the RFL Militia as a whole, and to the week ahead.

My opposite number, commander of the Red Team Sir Edward Pearse arrived shortly after, apologising for being delayed by his duties as a Knight of the realm. More toasts were exchanged, and then we proceeded to business. The Red Team had a numerous and vociferous following amongst the gathered bystanders, but such new fads often attract numbers to start with.

The debate flowed back and forth, with many of the Red Team arguments almost sounding plausible, but despite our assertions that large end is best, they would not be swayed. A proof if it were needed that starting from the small end keeps the nourishment from the brain. Such a shame to see fellow Caledonians so bamboozled by falsehoods.

The only way to settle the question was obvious, a wager between gentlemen, the outcome to be decided by force of arms on the field of battle, this coming Saturday afternoon. The sum of one hundred thousand Lindens was staked, the loser to donate this to SLRFL. I do hope Sir Edward has deep pockets, for without doubt we "large-enders" will prevail and our cause be awarded a righteous victory. Having not shaken on the deal (Sir Edward's prosthetic arm having seized at the crucial moment), the Blue Team set off back to Camp Cuddles, to make no preparations at all for the battle ahead. Why should we? We are secure in the correctness of our cause, the large end is the only way to begin a coddled egg, and we shall employ all the silliness at our disposal in order to prove this. The small end indeed! Whatever will they be telling us next, that the world is not flat?

For further reportage on this event and the others to follow in the coming week, I must direct you to the blogs of Colonel O'Toole (Red team, and such a shame to see so great a man so confused) here, and Captain Lapin Paris (Blue team, and rightly so!) here. Further postings of note on this grand debate will be mentioned as they appear.

Meet The Blue Team

Allow me to introduce you to your team. First picture is your Colonel, astride his second horse Inkerman, wearing the Service Dress uniform of Blue Team, and sporting the new sword my beloved has given me as another Colonel gift. The Imperial Sabre, by Mekan, and available for Talwyn Technologies. The Service Dress is what we shall be wearing for the majority of the time - and just as well, as it certainly compliments the figures of our lady officers!

Next we see three of the Captains, Paris, Susenko and my own darling adjutant, Captain Despres, enjoying a drink and a cookie. They wear the Full Dress uniform of the Blue Team, our ceremonial outfit for parades and other formal occassions. Mr Magellan has done us proud, with our Tarleton helmets a crowning glory. The basic uniform sans rank insignia is available to all collectors of military garments, from the vendors at the back of his new shop in Kittiwick, at 18 Robert Burns Avenue.


Then we come to our very own ghost rider, the late lamented and dearly departed Captain Lucius Sin. Sadly, the Kittiwick Were was revealed to be none other than dear Lucius, and of course, when the plucky Misses Gustafson and Beaumont dispatched the Beast on Saturday night at the Dark Victoria Ball, they unwittingly dispatched the good Doctor as well! Thankfully, and in no small part down to his depth of occult learning and alchemical skills, he has been able to return across the Great Divide and fulfil his duties as an officer and a gentleman. He is unfortunately unable to utter any sound except Hoooo!, the RFL Militia rebel yell, but luckily my darling Kacy is a skilled medium, and so she is able to channel his words for him.

The fourth shot shows a small detachment of the Blue Team out on patrol, making sure there is no unwanted seriousness lurking in Tanglewood. Whilst as cavalry we do all own horses - indeed as befitting my rank as Colonel I own two - Fedioukine my gray and Inkerman the black, both fine geldings from the stables of Miss Tombola in Eyre - in order to ensure a correct and proper level of silliness abounds, we took to our rounds astride Carltons, wonderfully nonsensical dancing cows. Remember folks, this is all for charity!


The last picture shows the full core of Blue Team, which consists of those already mentioned along with Captain Schnabel and Major Margolis, taking their ease around our campfire. The ladies have opted for Pyjama Order, complete with regulation Bunny slippers. Camp Cuddles is to be our home for the next week, so we might as well get as cosy as possible, eh? The Team also includes Lieutenant Colonel Zeffirelli and Captain Maertens, along with our newest recruits Captain Hax and the Lieutenants Peccable, Decosta and Decosta, shots of whom will no doubt follow in the coming days.

As Colonel I could not wish for a better bunch of pranksters and japesmiths, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank them all for being a part of Blue Team, and wish them much silliness and fun in the week ahead. Cookie, anyone?

Welcome to Camp Cuddles

The RFL Militia is staging a week-long RP this week, with lots of mini events leading up to an "battle" on Saturday. It is not a battle in the true sense, as this is a Militia-only RP, we have been spilt into two teams, Red and Blue, so talk of "battles" and "civil war" is not only foolish nonsense, it is damaging foolish nonsense. This should be seen in the same light as a NATO exercise, merely a way of stretching muscles and having some in-house fun.

I have been given the great honour of heading up the Blue Team. I am in fact Colonel of the newly created Caledon Light Horse (Guvnah's Own Dragoons), to be one of the successor regiments to the RFL Militia, which is sadly being disbanded after this week. The Blue team is wearing the CLH uniforms I have commissioned from Mako Magellan, and our flag is that of the CLH, but this is merely because the CLH uniform is blue, and we need to distinguish ourselves from the Red Team this week. However, the CLH will not be formally in existence till next week, so all references henceforth will be to the Blue Team of the RFL militia.

Each team is to have a camp from which to work from, so we made best use of our time and got started on Sunday evening. I believe the Red Team, led by Colonel Sir Edward Pearse, is to have Loch Avie as their camp (the beauty of friends of high places!) but being wild and wooly provincials, we have set up our temporary home in Tanglewood.

And what a cosy little camp it is too! Captain Paris has been good enough to let us use the RFL plot, which has proven perfect for the job. We set out tents, and have added a few home comforts to each. You can see our tent - my beloved Captain Despres is acting as my adjutant for the exercise - has a lovely big bed, and a wonderful chart table she bought me as a gift for the occasion. Never was there a Colonel as lucky as I!

We have a camp fire, cookies and cuddles. Hence the name! We were paid a visit by Sir Edward last night, as he was passing by engaged in a survey to keep his map of "Parcels Hazardous to Aerial Navigation in Caledon" up to date, and was gracious enough to join us for a brew up. Just as well, as it enabled us to set a time for the kick-off event for the RP, more of which later.



If you are passing by during the week, please do drop in for tea and cookies - and maybe even a cuddle! - and remember, this is all in aid of RFL Team Caledon, so donations are very very welcome, and to some extent expected. So no more talk of war, this is an exercise in fun, so let the silliness begin!

Darkness In Caledon

Yesterday was Dark Victoria day in Caledon! Organised by the irrepressible and indomitable Misses Lapin and Schnabel in their continuing efforts for SLRFL, this was a series of events with a distinctly Gothic theme to them, all held on a marvellous sky platform high above Tanglewood. Created by the genius Mr Darkle Sands, the topside was a snow-covered graveyard, complete with crypts, graves and bats flitting here and there.

A cunningly concealed trap door allowed access to a suitably gloomy and cavernous space, where the first of the days events was held, a runway show of clothing created by Lepointe Designs. It was all very Gothic in theme, and every garment was a delight of sartorial darkness. Major Margolis is seen here modelling one particularly fine example of their menswear. Other models drawn from the ranks of Caledon's highly fashion conscious residents included Miss Darkling Elytis, Miss Martini Discovolante, Miss Kiralette Kelley and Miss Shylah Garmes. These ladies all shone (darkly of course) in the outfits they modelled for us.

The Major was very ably assisted in the modelling of the gentleman's range by a Mr Nicholas Garrigus, a very pleasant fellow indeed, a Vampyre by all accounts though his manner was impeccable. He then posed with the ladies of Caledon in a series of photographic vignettes, no doubt setting many a heart aflutter!

Sadly it was at this point that events did turn very dark indeed. You will no doubt have read of Miss Paris's experience of abduction by the Werewolf (if not you may find it here). Despite everything, it seems the Beast has lost his own internal battle, the violent and aggressive nature of a brutal killer coming to the fore. Only last night, my dear friend Captain Susenko was attacked in his New Babbage laboratory as he was working on a possible cure with which to free the creature from its torment. It seems the Beast no longer wished to be saved, as it rampaged through the building smashing everything in sight. Some part of the man must have remained in its brain, for it did not kill my friend, but in the struggle threw him bodily across the room and onto a bench laden with flasks of all kinds. The ensuing explosion as a multitude of exotic liquids suddenly combined injured the good Captain gravely, taking the site in his right eye, and injuring his mind as well as his body. I can only hope we are all able to help him recover from such a mind-shattering ordeal.

Such an occurrence would have been proof enough of the Beast's madness, but worse was to follow. Miss Artemesia Paine, a resident of New Babbage and friend and assistant to Professor Nareth Nishi, has been tracking the beast as part of the Professor's studies. It seems the creature had tired of her persistence, maybe the age-old emnity between feline and canine played a part, Miss Paine is - I am sorry, was - a Neko, but for whatever reason, as she and Professor Nishi attended the photograph opportunity with Mr Garrigus, the Beast struck from nowhere.

No one but the Professor saw what happened, but there was a blur of black fur, a hideous female scream, and there was Miss Paine upon the snow, her life draining swiftly from her normally pale features. Despite the best efforts of the bystanders, Miss Paine passed from this life. The professor was distraught, and became hysterical, forcing would-be assistance away from her companion's now lifeless body at gunpoint. The poor woman was inconsolable in her grief and anguish. Reports of the Beast abroad in Tanglewood flooded in, and a posse was formed. Your correspondent was at one point trapped WITH the creature during the chase, in one of Professor Alphonso Avalanche's cages - accidents such as this do happen in such confused circumstances, and had it not been for the Beast's prodigious strength in shattering the steel bars to eacape, you could well have been reading the writings of a were-djinn!

My love and I returned home at this point, to recover from this shocking twist of fate, but the hue and cry of the ultimately fruitless Beast Hunt reverberated around the ancient forest for some time. So it was with heavy hearts and a desire to dance away this sorrow that we attended the closing event of this themed day, the Dark Victoria ball, music being provided by Sir Edward Pearse of Radio Riel. All the ladies looked suitably Gothic, but none more so, nor more achingly beautifully in that way residents of the Dark have, than my beloved Kacy.

The Ball was held in the graveyard, the blood form the earlier killing frozen into the otherwise pure white snow. We see Miss Diamunda Gustafson pondering the site, a blade left in the ground as a demonstration of her resolve to end this matter. The men of Caledon had been unable to, a woman had been brutally parted from her life, now perhaps the Beast would perish at the hand of the fairer sex. My darling and I danced all night to some very Gothic tunes, along with Miss Maertens and her beau, Captain Susenko, and it was a joy to see him trying to enjoy himself, although his gyrations did have something of a manic quality to them.

It was during this Ball that the final denouement in the tale of the Kittiwick Were took place. We could not see it, but from the noise a great chase took place - I did catch a glimpse of black fur as the Beast tore through the crowd, but for once his great speed was not enough. The press of people was too great - it is a wonder there were not more casualties - and Miss Gustafson, ably assisted by Miss Lavender Beaumont, took the Beast at last, using a blade provided by the Fae for this purpose. It was a great shame that such an end had to occur, but a mad dog is beyond help, and having tasted flesh once the Were was lost to his bloodthirsty side. The corpse, and the head, which one of the ladies - I did not see the killing stroke - had separated from the body, were taken away for study and preservation by members of the Royal Society.

So all in all a very Dark evening! My fiancee and I danced some more, losing ourselves in each other and letting the night's events wash away in the music, before returning home to take solace in each others arms. Darkness is a necessary part of our existence, no one and nothing can live in the light all the time (except for certain celestial beings, but we are dealing with the mortal planes here), but to have it brought so to life in fair Caledon was something of a shock. What dire events can we look forward to in Tanglewood and beyond, now that the Dark has been loosed upon it?

Happy Fourth, One & All!

I have been very involved with a hectic RL these last few days, and without my love beside me pon the Grid thanks to her very hectic RL, this blog has suffered somewhat. I have had some adventures which it is just too late to post about, namely the affair in the boneyard of Caledon Moors - involving the Were, who else! - attending the opening of Caledon Eyre, and many more besides. Other correspondents have covered these admirably, and I can add little of value to their excellent observations.

So it is with great pleasure, and no little relief, that I return to posting! My love, my life, has returned, and in the company of friends and family we spent a wonderful time watching some fireworks to celebrate my American readers' liberation from monarchical tyranny. I will let the fact that Britain just couldn't afford to carry on the War, and the fact that dear old George was very ill at the time - I had yet to meet with his physicians at this point, still being delayed in the Orient - and other such arguments pass. The world is surely better off with the USA as a nation in its own right than if it were still coloured pink on the map!


My beloved Kacy received word from Chey and Sweetie that an informal firework display was to take place, and would we like to attend! Of course! We were duly TP'd over, and then called in our friends Leon and Glori, and Viderian who brought his foal little Keashi along, a treat for her as it was well past her bedtime, but no kid wants to miss out on fireworks! This one certainly doesn't!

As remiss as ever I cannot remember the name of either the sim where we watched the display, nor, and this is very lax of me, the names of the two particle wizards who created the spectacle. My humble apologies all round.

Curled on a blanket together to ward off the dampness of the grass, my love and I watched along with the others as rocket after rocket, Roman candle after Vesuvuis, lit the sky with all the colours of the rainbow, and this all set to a varied and enjoyable soundtrack. My poor quality snaps taken with my Box Brownie really do not do the event justice, as the saying goes you really had to be there, and as you weren't I am sorry you missed out on something rather special.

Perhaps it was the fact that SL actually worked a treat for that hour, or that my love was once more in my arms, our bodies warm against each other, but I found myself overcome with emotion, and determined to visit the land of the free! In all my aeons of wandering across the earth, I have yet to get to the US, and I think it is about time I did. Goodness only knows how long it will take to get there, but watch out America, this Djinn is on his way!

Celestial Learning

Another class I took over the last few days was in the construction of an armillary sphere, a device used in astronomy since the 3rd century BC. I had no idea how we would achieve the construction of such a complex object, but once again I was to be astounded by the the simplicity and beauty of a build.

This class was delivered by the Academy of Second Learning, and took place at their Colorado Tech campus. The tutor was Mr Sunn Thunders, I had not taken a class with him before, but I shall certainly be looking to take more.

Mr Thunders had for me the perfect teaching style, very calm, giving instructions clearly, and making sure everyone was on the same page. When a student did get a bit stuck, he took the time to go through the issue with them, and make sure that not only did they solve it, but also see why it was solved as well. I picked up a great tip about CTRL-Z, mine keyboard is always playing up with that one, so now I just go to the Edit menu! Simple but effective, as all good tips and tricks are.

The build itself was very straightforward, but we created objects of no little beauty. A simple script for rotation was added, and Mr Thunders even took the time to answer my question about whether or not we could tweak this script, by taking the class on an optional detour around it! Some simple texturing, and my armillary sphere was done.

It stands by the bridge across Kacy's Creek, in Kittiwickshire, for now, as an interesting ornament. I think I shall make a small desk sized version, all in brass with a mahogany base, I have always ogled them in the windows of RL antique shops - now I can have one for myself, and not pay hundreds of pounds for it!

As ever, let me extol the virtues of taking a class in SL, and in particular taking one at ASL. Their builds are often more complex seeming than classes elsewhere, but the techniques taught are simplicity themselves.

The Bigger The Bang....

Without my beloved at my side, I was grateful that there were a few classes I could attend. On Friday evening I went along to TUi to take their class in making a Firework Launcher. Taught by Miss Summer Sansome, it was held in their Secret A classroom, above the Untold Secrets Mall.

The class proved suprisingly easy, but a lot of that must be credited to Miss Sansome's teaching style. Unhurried, relaxed, and inclusive. This is one of several of her classes I have taken, and for me she is one of the more accomplished of the TUi staff.

All the components for the Launcher were included in the class supplies - I always find the supplies to worth taking the class for if no other reason! A series of tubes were created, each with the relevant scripts and particle prims in, and then textured. Linked, they give a very satisfying volley of pyrotechnics!

This was a well attended class, so there will be plenty of fireworks across the Grid for July 4th! I really enjoyed this one, it has given me plenty of ideas, and inspired me to visit the Particle Lab to find out more about these fascinating objects.

As ever, I encourage you all to pay a visit to TUi and take a class - in anything! You will surely come away educated, inspired and eager for more.